Happy Halloween Everybody!!!

2nd Annual Engagement Ring Show

Look at Jamie's site for the details...

http://babywait.blogspot.com/

Now here's my ring and story...




Wedding band has three diamonds...one for David, Michael and Kelly


My husband and I met in 1997 on the internet. It was a fluke really. After my divorce I didn't get out much (not with 2 little kids) so I decided to go to a Texas chat room. I lived in Florida and thought that Texas had friendly southern people and boy was I right.

I met David in the #texas chat room and we became friends. I never discussed my situation but he knew I had kids and assumed I was married. I listened to him talk about this girl and that girl and I even gave him advice. It wasn't until a friend of ours told him I was single again that he tried to turn the friendship table. I said NO WAY!!! Originally. I didn't want a man who dated a different girl every night of the week. He told me that he would change if I gave him a chance. It was a HUGE leap of faith especially being long distance. We talked every night, on the phone for hours and became really close. He never dated another woman again.

I liked the situation...him in Texas, me in Florida...it gave us the time to really get to know each other without the physical. 4 months later we met and it was instant fireworks. I have heard many horror stories about people who meet online but I truly found gold in my David. We dated LD for another year until he made the move to Florida. We lived together for another year and had talked about marriage but I didn't want to rush him. I certainly wasn't in any hurry either.

So, one night, we were eating dinner, Mikey (my autistic son who was 6 at the time) was in the bathroom in the next room...we were potty training. My daughter, who was 4 was carrying on because Mikey was crying to get off. He said to me "Honey, you see what's going on...it's pure chaos". I didn't know where he was going with it but just said "yes Dave I know". He proceeded to say "Well, is this is a typical chaotic day and I can handle it no problem" then "I think spending the rest of my life with you and the kids is where I need to be". I smiled and was happy to hear those words. I never imagined what would come next. He reached over and pulled out a little black velvet box out of his briefcase and said "So, will you and the kids be with me forever?".

Talk about shock! Never in a million years did I picture him asking me while Mikey was sitting on the potty saying "off please" and Kelly screaming about wanting to watch Pocahontas on video for the 15th time. Needless to say, I kissed him, said yes.

We got married on June 11th in Los Olas Florida, on a yacht. We were married by the captain and had our reception at sea. It was truly spectacular.

We've been happily married for 6 years.

My Son's ARD meeting

It was a long one...2 1/2 hours. The meeting consisted of: Mike's old teacher, his Adaptive PE coach, speech pathologist, principal, his current teacher (if you could call her that), the psychologist, the school administrator and me. I decided to tape it as well...just in case.

We started going over his IEP goals because his present ones very so vague, it didn't really mean anything. I made sure I interjected on every goal, as I didn't think they were being used in the classroom at all. Long story short, every goal had to be changed.

The psychologist asked me what my concerns were and I had a long laundry list. Lack of structure in the class, no desk for Mike, no pec cards for communication, it went on and on. Noone said a word, Everyone nodded that things needed to be drastically changed. I mentioned how I thought the teacher was inexperienced and had a lack of commitment. I ended it with requesting that he be removed and placed in a proper setting where he can stop regressing and start to thrive again.

His old teacher and adaptive PE chimed in and asked mentioned how regressed they thought he was and they concurred he needed to be placed eleswhere. It was determined, by the concensus that Michael was too small to be placed in the high school and too old to be in the middle school. My only alternative was to place him in another junior high campus. I told them I wasn't up to speed with the teachers or the classes there and would have to observe them before I made a deciision. I was told that it was an Administrative decision, not one of the parent...I totally disagreed with that and will be voicing strongly where I want him to go.

SO, thats it. Another meeting is scheduled in 10 days where I will make my deciosion where to place him and have already called the other junior highs to observe in those classrooms.

Good GOD, I hope we move so I don't have to go through all of their Bull anymore!!!

On another note, the place where my DH is staying in San Antonio has been sold. He has three weeks to be out. Now the crunch hits. I called my realtor and told her to get with the other realtor and find out if those people are still interested because we are ready to negotiate! Hopefully we'll hear something today.

Have a good weekend everyone.

My vent on everything

I can't even believe it but...I am ovulating! I didn't think it could happen so soon but I've had ewcm on and off and now I have lower abdominal pain...go figure. So this means I will get AF in 2 weeks. ...great. Just what I need...to bleed more. Ughhh

On another note, the people that wanted to buy this house can't make up their damn mind, so I wait in limbo until they decide IF they want it. I wanted to be in SA for Thanksgiving and now it seems I don't know when of if I'll ever get there.

Tomorrow is my son's meeting. I went to his school to observe again and to see if the teacher took my recommendations and the consult's recommendations and actually utilized them. She wasn't even there. A sub was filling in and told me the teacher had a scheduled class to go to and gave her NO instructions as to the lesson plan. The kids were coloring and making paper airplanes. MY SON IS 13!!! All I could do it be infuriated and teach him myself. So thats what I did. I went through all of his workboxes and we completed them all. What incompetence. It only gives me more ammunition to rip them all new assholes. I have to stay calm and professional. If I don't reach across the table and strangle hertomorrow, it'll be a piece of cake.

On top of all the shit that is piled on me, I am sick. I have a cold that I just cannot shake. My nose is runny and last night I had a fever. I am trying to nurse it the best I can but I guess it's taking it's time since I am so stressed out. I saw a commercial on depression and I seriously wondered if I was. Nothing has been going right and I have been doing my damndest to persevere but it seems the more I try, the more shit gets piled on my lap.

When will it end??????

Finally

the bleeding has stopped. I am relieved. Maybe I can move forward now. The doctor said I could get my period in 3 - 6 weeks. I vote for 6. My hubby and I were finally able to be totally intimate. I know he was happy. LOL

We had a 2nd showing on our home on Friday and the husband said he really liked it. Hopefully they will make an offer and we can be in San Antonio by Thanksgiving.

Thursday is my son's meeting. I know we are moving and it won't matter once we are gone but I have to do this not only for him, but for all the other kids in his class. They need an experienced teacher. I will lobby my heart out and get him out of there. Wish me luck.

I am so tired of the PW nonsense. Noone can post there about TTC and that's sad. I wanted to come back but I dont' think it's possible until things are settled. I have too much personal angst to worry about it really.

Well, that's it. I hope everyone has a good week.

GO ASTROS!!!!!!!

2 weeks and 3 days

and I am still bleeding. I went to the dr. today for a follow-up and to see if this is normal. She did an U/s and still saw some residual tissue that needed to come out...so what does this mean? Another week of bleeding. What fun. She also suggested having me take birth control pills for a month to get my cycle back to normal and for the hormones to expel everything on my next period. I decided against that for now. The thought of taking bcp pills really makes me cringe.

I spent the 2nd part of my day at my son's school. I have been trying really hard to get him removed out of this class because his special ed teacher doesn't know what the hell she is doing. She doesn't teach them, just lets them wander aimlessly around the classroom. I have had countless meetings with her and the administrators so hopefully by his next ARD meeting on 10/27 (a meeting required by the state if I feel his goals aren't being met)where I can request his removal. Cross your fingers I will get my wish and not have to break anyone's nose if they don't.
And...btw... she only has 6 weeks of special ed training...need I say more???

I know...

that yesterday was Infant Loss and Remembrance Day. How fitting it was that I spent most of yesterday in a church at a funeral for a dear friend we lost to cancer at 38.

I'm so sick of loss. The truly good people leave us too soon and it's so unfair. I am sickened by it really. I try to believe that they are in a better place...but what better place than with the people that love you? I don't get it and I don't think I ever will.

To all the people I have lost in the past year....my mother, my cat, my dear friends, my 3 babies... I love you and miss you...and always will.

Thursday

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since my M/c. I am still bleeding and my doctor says it could go on another week...ugh. I just need this to be over already.

My hubbys dear friend died last night of cancer. He was younger than me. He was the sweetest guy. So much loss in our lives lately. It's so unfair. It's a shame that the song holds true "Only the good die young".

I weighed myself this morning. I was surprised that I was 138 lbs. I guess I lost all the pg weight of the twins. I was up to 152 at the doctors office so I guess that's one good thing. My boobs are still huge so I guess I still have some to go. I guess my body has been in total shock and it just doesn't know what to do. I tried exercising yesterday and the bleeding got worse (I know- TMI) so I will have to hold off for a little while longer.

Jenn - I loved your pg pics...they are adorable.
Chas - We haven't talked in ages...we need to catch up.
Jamie - I love our talks. You're a good friend.
Les - I wish we were on the same schedule. I miss you.
Jessi - I hope the critters have died down. Come online so we can gab sometime.
Jena - I'm sorry you've been so bothered on the forum. I was trying to help everyone feel welcome.
Liz - I hope this cycle works for you. You so deserve it.
Heather P and Heather M - I hope you're pregnancies are going well.

Anyone else I missed...I apologize. Have a lovely day. I'm trying to. :)

I went back to my doctor today. She wanted to see why I've been having so much abdominal pain. She did an U/S and all that was left was a little tissue...nothing major that wouldn't pass on it's own. So the procedure worked. No D&C for me. That's one good thing. All in all I don't think there was an easy answer for how to go about it but I'm glad it's over. The pain I'm told is from the swelling of my uterus. It should take a few weeks to contract itself back to normal. I go back in a week for a recheck.

So, for now, I'm on 3 different pain killers.

P.S. I was a little disturbed to see those pictures of Cinnamon. I know she's had a harrowing experience but I don't think the board is necessasarily the place to put them. I don't think I'll be going back until they are gone. That was very upsetting for me.

I hope everyone is well. I miss talking to you all.

Side note about my husband David: He sent me 2 dozen roses today with a card that simply says "I love you".


They're amazing...just like him.

Update

Well, as many as you know...and some that dont my journey through TTC and pregnancy has ended.

Thursday, I went into the drs office to find out how baby A was doing and not only wasn't it not thriving since the last visit, but baby B's heartbeat has stopped as well. It measured only a day off of my due date so it must have just happened. Needless to say, I was shocked and devastated. I had went to the appointment alone and had to deal with all that came over me by myself. I called my husband in San Antonio and he came home immediately. All I could think about was how I had a totally useless and old body and I failed to give him the child he always wanted.

My doctor was great. She gave me three options. D&C, miscarry on my own or a new technique...a chemical induction. I chose option #3. I couldn't fathom going into the hospital again under anesthesia.

Friday my husband took me back to the dr. to get the pills which were placed in vaginally. I was told I would start to cramp and things should happen anywhere from 24-36 hours later.

My husband and I went to eat and when I got up to leave, it all came out...yes, in the middle of the Fuddruckers. I was screaming. I didn't want to lose my babies in the bathroom there but it didn't look like I had a choice. He rushed home to get me a change of clothes and some pads and somehow we managed to get through it. I couldn't look. The doctor wanted Dave to look...to see if I passed the babies. He said they were side by side each other, just how they started out. I couldn't fathom just "disposing" them...but what other alternative did I have? It broke my heart and it's very hard to write about it.

After I got off the phone with everyone it seems, I had a bad attack. Bleeding uncontrollably, and feeling like I was going to pass out from all the blood loss. I lost feeling in my arm and face at one point so that was scary. I had to throw up but coulnd't so I kept gagging. All in all, a truly horrible experience and one I don't wish on anyone. It seems, according to the dr., the pills induced all the bleeding very quickly which is why it all came out at once. I lost the placenta or one baby last night and the rest was just alot of tissue. I know Tmi. Today the bleeding is minimal and I hope it stays like that. All I have today is major fatigue and a headache that won't go away no matter what drugs I take.

I spoke to Jenn a few times...boy, she is my rock. I don't know what I would have done without her. Somehow her cursing at the whole free world for letting this happen to me made me feel better. Then Jamie called...so sweet she is. I'm so glad I met her and she knows the horror I faced. Jennie, lil mamasita...another inspiration to me. She called and was just wonderful. Chas and Jessie...thank you so much for your emails and comforting workd and Jess...that song made me weep. I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of you. I wouldn't have gotten thru it without my girls. Les, I hope you come online soon...I would love to touch base with you.

I truly love you all and am very blessed and grateful we have each other.

Thanks again.

P.S. Liz, thanks for your kinds words...I will try to email you soon