Blah

I really had to force myself to post. I know it's been almost a week since I have. I have been in the worst blah mood so I thought better of it.

I miss my husband. He's been gone for two weeks. This is really getting old. I said it before and I'll say it again...I'll be happy when we can move. Which brings me to this next situation. Yes, we got an offer on our house and NO we haven't accepted it. They really lowballed us and asked us to pay for everything...closing costs, carpet cleaning, homeowner's fees, home warranty...these people are crazy! We countered and they decided to keep looking . It's very frustrating. WHY can't they compromise??

I haven't posted on PW at all. I don't really feel like I belong anywhere. I see the drama on both boards and I certainly want no part of it. I cannot even define what "mode" I'm in...am I TTCing? am I not? One minute I have totally given up and the next I am taking soy to jolt my fertility. If I'm lucky enough to get pregnant and STAY pregnant, great. I will not go the "RE" route again... either it happens on it's own or nothing. I can honestly say that I'm so jealous when I see a pregnant woman. It's so unfair that I tried for a whole year and when I finally get pregnant, I lose them. It just isn't fair. I know I am rambling, but I have so many emotions and no answers.

So, that's where I am. I am in the "nothing is going easy" phase. It has lasted months and quite frankly, I'm sick of it. I know I'm supposed to have faith but I'm tired of waiting for everything. I'm tired of having no control in my life. I'm tired of waiting for stupid people to make a decision. I am just tired. Sorry.