To my Ipp Sistahs!!!

A True Friend

Are you sick of all those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound ! like Hallmark cards, and never come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that really speak to true friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and tell you to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.


Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.