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This is a blog about me, Ally, 44 now...trying to conceive baby #3. After 5 years, several miscarriages and heartaches we finally did it. Ava Lynn was born on January 30th 2009. Now I have two teenagers and a baby! Ally wants three is now complete. It's all gravy from here on in...

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Something funny

This made me laugh...when I really needed it. CD 21 and as you guess AGAIN...2 bars. I feel like throwing that machine across the window...or maybe just flush it...Hmmmm. Anyway, Enjoy.


THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY ...

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What was I thinking?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ...
I've changed my mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life...
I never believed in Hell til I met you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, &West Virginia)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy birthday! You look great for your age ...
Almost Lifelike!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time ...
lets say we stop?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so miserable without you .
it's almost like you're here.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father is?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.

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1 Comments:

At 6:48 AM, Blogger Jenn said...

OK - that list was too funny!!!

God Damn two bars!!!!! Throw that monitor out!

Talk to you later - we are supposed to be getting a big blizzard here today (22 inches) so I will probably be on my computer most of the day!!

 

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