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This is a blog about me, Ally, 44 now...trying to conceive baby #3. After 5 years, several miscarriages and heartaches we finally did it. Ava Lynn was born on January 30th 2009. Now I have two teenagers and a baby! Ally wants three is now complete. It's all gravy from here on in...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

End of Summer...Dr. Update

I have such mixed emotions about the end of summer...especially this year. I am somewhat happy to see it end. Hopefully that will mean the end of 100 degree days for one. It also means back to school time. My kids are in the same school this year which is nice.

It also means I have alot of alone time.

That is good and bad.

I spent the last two days looking for a job. Hopefully I can find one soon. There is nothing more that I hate than feeling useless. I need to do something. I need to restructure my days just like my son has to. I hate dwelling on the negative and I think it's the only way I'll stop...to refocus on other things. Sounds easy enough right?

I think it would also help if I felt good physically,which lately I don't. My knee has been giving me problems in the last week so I have an appt. with the orthopedist today to see what I could have done to it.

Tomorrow is my follow-up RE appt. This is going to be interesting. I am dreaded it actually. I don't want to go in there like some loser and say "Well, you couldn't get me pg....and now I'm giving up". He will tell me not to I'm sure. He will advise more labs to investigate if I should or physically can continue. I just don't know if I can or want to revisit old wounds yet AGAIN.

So, that's where I'm at. I'm just feeling blah. I hope it's normal.

** Doctor Update **

Well, I was right. My Dr. doesn't want me to quit. Ok, lemme rephrase that. He told me if I wanted to give it a true test, then I should go two more rounds on the Gonal-F.

Here's the stats he gave me:

Couple trying to conceive without fertility problems: 20%
Couple trying to conceive with fertility problems, no meds: 10 %
Couple trying to conceive with fertility problems on Clomid: 10-15%
Couple trying to conceive with fertility problems on Gonal-F: 20%

So, if I want to try, the shots would be the best course to take. I asked him to check my ovarian reserve. He doesn't think there is a problem considering all the times I have been pregnant but he will take that test on CD 3. Unfortunately there isn't a test for egg quality.

I have very mixed emotions about this. Here's what I know. I want another baby. I know I should move on. I know it's heartbreaking. Do I really want to go through 2 more rounds of shots, U/S 's and heartache if it doesn't work? I know I will have regret if I don't do everything possible to make it a reality. I called Dave and we will talk about it tonight.

Ughhh...my head hurts.

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5 Comments:

At 1:39 PM, Blogger Paige said...

Ally I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I hope that you do what you want at the appointment tomorrow, you are strong sister.

 
At 8:45 AM, Blogger Sporty said...

I'm sorry that you are feeling the way that you do. No one can tell you what to do....you have to do what is right in your heart.

I hope you know that if you need me...I am here. I have been thinking about you a lot lately.

Take care and I hope to talk to you soon.

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Jen, Rich & Joey said...

Good Luck with your job hunt. And I hope your appointments go well.

Just remember YOU are the one that ultimatly decides what you would be willing to go through. More than likely he'll advise against quitting but its really up to you. You have to do what is right in your heart.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger Liz said...

I know how hard all of this is. It's not easy to give up a dream and it also isn't easy to go on when we know there is a possibility of getting hurt. You are very strong and know matter what the decision I know you will do what is best for you. Remember we're here for you.

 
At 8:37 PM, Blogger Natalie said...

Ally, gosh I know how hard this is for you. You are such a strong person and will make the right decision.

I will keep saying lots and lots of prayers!!! I am here for you!!!

Natalie

 

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